Planned my entire Life!!

Thoughts run..Life runs the marathon..Time runs sometimes
sometimes when you sit and watch..
Moments when you look back and see what has gone far away
we dont noe why..but few things are left behind...
why? why is it so that we have to lose things in order to gain something..
and why do these new things seem more meaningful than the others that we lost?
good deal isnt it?
I dont know the start but the nature has rules..unavoidable rules
life talks to us..
life revolves around realisation..
I feel like a grown up..with stars in my eyes..still dreaming about the future....my dreams..my desires(yeah they are materialistic also)
its like my own watch series where I am the protagonist/hero..
In life, you will always have one big dream..what is it? yeah i noe
and there is a way to reach to that dream..but due to unavoidable rules..the road ahead is unpredictable.. because things will never be just about you.
Things should fade away..pleasantly..and make way for new ones to come..
when I close my eyes..I see destiny standing in between two paths
destiny is ur finger and ur path is that burning match stick...you burn all the time you walked ..path 1 is when you thought you knew what you wanted..but for many reasons..things changed for you ..and your destiny changed..and path 2 is my way..the feeling of running in a dark tunnel with a belief that there is light at the end of it..nothing deviates me...nothing stops me from getting there...



Music-My Humps, BEP
omg...I tried soo hard to avoid Gossip Girl for soo long..but  I couldnt..I've started liking it way too much to avoid it..:P
So, the distractor has sent this site to distract me ...so I download Sex and the City epidose everyday..like an addict ...God save me!..m gonna be wasted soon..


you are on my wishlist baby..



A list of why?

Music- little of your time, Maroon 5
Mood-V.different in a good way :)
okay so here I am trying to desperately write something because there is soo much happening in my racing mind that I better get out of my system, all this between the sunday syndrome!

so here comes my super childish wannabe "A lists of why"
(long pause)
1.why didnt I realise before that I love fashion? and dude! I actually belong to the other side of the fence where women like to dress up..
2.why did I think for soo long that I am not a drinking person?( I can see mojito in front of me )
3.why am I attracted to only fair people? like that dangerous explicit level of attraction..
4.Oh shit...I am really very beautiful..why didnt I figure this out before? lol
5.so now I love shoes?
6.I like cats way beyond limits..why didnt I realise that I am obsessed with it?
7.why havent I painted something to be appreciated?am soo good at it!
8.why dont I play tennis anylonger? shit!
9.I love colognes damn it!! why I tot that its an unjustifiably expensive and unnecessary want.
10.why did I think of deviating from black? I still love it.
11.why are doctors so impressive and irritating at the same time?
12. why is my mom so sweet! :)
13.why do I love expensive cutlery?
14.why do I suddenly feel that blogging is cooler than Facebook?
15.when did I start liking this woman called Priyanka Chopra? (feels like del this)
14.why do I feel that Funk is cooler than classic rock? (rhcp>guns n roses)
15.why do I suddenly feel like a busy person in college? or..like super busy in general?
16.why do I feel bored of this list now?



By the way

Music-fall away, The Fray
Mood-Awesome inspite of spraining my left foot

If this world had not influenced me (unavoidable scenario), I would have chosen to be a loner..gosh! how much I love my company..hehahehahuhuhehehoho.The sole purpose that influenced me to write this is because it has been brought to my notice by almost all the people who know me decently well :-}.so its obvious that it is 100% true.
Like hardcore loner ha!. ME and the WORLD one on one.With the arrogance and endurance,will never give up and aggressive attitude ill rip you all one by one!!



Conversations under influence

some interesting facts about ego

When the ego is personified, it is like a slave to three harsh masters: the id, the super-ego, and the external world. It has to do its best to suit all three, thus is constantly feeling hemmed by the danger of causing discontent on two other sides. It is said, however, that the ego seems to be more loyal to the id, preferring to gloss over the finer details of reality to minimise conflicts while pretending to have a regard for reality. But the super-ego is constantly watching every one of the ego's moves and punishes it with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and inferiority. To overcome this the ego employs defense mechanisms.The defense mechanisms are not done so directly or consciously. They lessen the tension by covering up our impulses that are threatening.
Denial, displacement, intellectualisation, fantasy, compensation, projection, rationalisation, reaction formation, regression, repression, and sublimation were the defense mechanisms.

The Super-ego works in contradiction to the id. The Super-ego strives to act in a socially appropriate manner, whereas the id just wants instant self-gratification. The Super-ego controls our sense of right and wrong and guilt. It helps us fit into society by getting us to act in socially acceptable ways.[1]
The Super-ego's demands oppose the id’s, so the ego has a hard time in reconciling the two.

R-you are practical...and practical people become managers. I am a musician..i am emotional..and emotional people become Leaders.
G-my ego is bigger than anything in this world.My ego makes the decisions..not me.Thats how I am.therefore, I am.....



Under all the confusion lays me. I don’t know where I am heading towards ; only with a rough sketch in my mind I walk ahead, not that I want to know what I want. The whole concept of that question seems like an illusion to me. Trying to fit into everything and then withdrawing back out of the fear of losing faith, it seems tiring now that things passed this way.
The fear of not belonging there wants me to come back home. All this while the only motivation was accomplishing the task that pushed me ahead and back then all this wasn’t an issue. Inarguably change is for the better. But after a while you feel the need to change and come back home.
I worked very hard for NASA so much that honestly I didn’t even realise how much it meant to me when the results were announced and I cried like a baby after losing. Our NASA was rather a controversial, scandalising experience.Ofcourse that was just during ending. The beginning plus the process was very exciting and unique for me. I wished that it just ended there. As it is said that it’s not the destination but the journey that matters after all. This journey could be literally compared to a remote Indian village where you are riding in a comfortable vehicle just that it’s a kuccha road ahead due to which you can’t properly sit, sleep, and eat; you complain about the harsh sun and lack of amenities yet wholly it’s the humbling experience that etches in your heart.
I for once hate to give out the details, but I am glad that I got involved in this. Happy to figure out that in spite of all the unfairness, the satisfaction of learning out of experience and people taught me valuable lessons .The change has begun.....................


there are some days without a smile