Under all the confusion lays me. I don’t know where I am heading towards ; only with a rough sketch in my mind I walk ahead, not that I want to know what I want. The whole concept of that question seems like an illusion to me. Trying to fit into everything and then withdrawing back out of the fear of losing faith, it seems tiring now that things passed this way.
The fear of not belonging there wants me to come back home. All this while the only motivation was accomplishing the task that pushed me ahead and back then all this wasn’t an issue. Inarguably change is for the better. But after a while you feel the need to change and come back home.
I worked very hard for NASA so much that honestly I didn’t even realise how much it meant to me when the results were announced and I cried like a baby after losing. Our NASA was rather a controversial, scandalising experience.Ofcourse that was just during ending. The beginning plus the process was very exciting and unique for me. I wished that it just ended there. As it is said that it’s not the destination but the journey that matters after all. This journey could be literally compared to a remote Indian village where you are riding in a comfortable vehicle just that it’s a kuccha road ahead due to which you can’t properly sit, sleep, and eat; you complain about the harsh sun and lack of amenities yet wholly it’s the humbling experience that etches in your heart.
I for once hate to give out the details, but I am glad that I got involved in this. Happy to figure out that in spite of all the unfairness, the satisfaction of learning out of experience and people taught me valuable lessons .The change has begun.....................

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there are some days without a smile