12.11.12

why does it happen that when u achieve the dream which just seemed very unattainable suddenly seems less attractive? I am very excited but why do I feel very strange from the inside? like there is some sort of a silence which I am unable to understand!
It is true...no matter how I try to act like I am independent and bla bla the truth is that I am not...in fact it is very inhuman to be so...when things go our way...psychologically a cushion is formed inside our mind which saves us from all the other random bumpers but the chase never stops.I need a support...I always do need one...and then everything becomes more attractive...

Have been planning to scribble something for soo soo soo long...voices in the head needed to be pinned down somewhere...god knows for what...it took me a brand new PC and a song and many holidays in a row to do this probably! I don't know whats with this activity that I really enjoy yet I am highly inconsistent at it..
every day thoughts which could turn into important notes must be written down.
write to express not to impress.
I could Imagine how nostalgic it would be to revisit these notes somewhere down the line.
ummm....soo much has changed! but of course it slowly sinks into you as you grow older that only change is constant.
sudden attachments and sudden detachment.
Responsibility really does suck...now that it has stuck onto me it doesn't really disappear. It cant be avoided.
Everyday someone reminds you or you have to face the consequences.
well, The thing is I don't have an issue with that as long as things remain balanced.
but things change and then every time the fear infiltrates. the fear of pain. fear of losing. fear of failure and fear of making a decision!
And this trend seems to happen all of a sudden....you can always choose...but you again wonder did I have a  choice? or maybe too many varied choices seem confusing all of a sudden...
off late I realized something that would be very important for my well being.
what kind of a person am I turning into?
Life is messy and that's how we are made.
decisions need to be made and need to be followed.
there is no place for weakness.

More later...
Till then bye bye.

gogu

gogu
there are some days without a smile