of war and worlds

In my dreams i am dying all the time,as i wake its kaleidoscopic mind.
I never meant to hurt you ..
I never meant to lie ..So this is goodbye ...This is goodbye ..Tell the truth you never wanted me.. Tell me In my dreams ..I'm jealous all the time ..
As I wake I'm going out of my mind Going out of my mind ...
war is illegal..war is hell..war is the time when life becomes death or who noes worse than that.
the turbulance in life when you loose everything that you have.losing your world that made you u.disunion with what you are,what you were..war detached you with what you wanted to be.
inequitable doom.
implacable crumps she heard bought her world crashing down..her world was as cynical as it could possibly get.. puff of bullets hitting her people ..not a moment of peace..
nowhere she could find a quiet place to sit and rest just to calm her shaken mind.
witnessing her world falling apart her stubborn,obstinate crisis tore her world apart..
cinema has shown us decades of violence and some of the movies contain the most naturalistic depiction of what happens when human beings are shot dead with rifles or ripped apart by grenades.
This war just like most of the others that took place in the past had a serious moral issue.
eccentric! really bizzare means ..to achieve something by means of destruction.
how can you gain something by bleeding lives? where to go? and what if her world never got built again?...what if she lived just to die ?
flogged soul.the emptiness..when all life she lived to fill the voids and tying knots,today she had nothing to give.
emptiness=unreal.
it ends and everything is done with.people bit the dust. she was desolated and devastated to the point that she lost all the connection..connection with what? well...her world?it doesnt exist anymore..
she was a child of ruination.
there are two ways of looking at everything,not necessarily white or black.life really is in shades of grey and in that sense silence is the grey word.we observe moment of silence when people die in order to remember and reflect the event,yet there are times when silence is soo negative,things fall apart because of noiselessness.
but it is not words(presence of speech) but actions that causes attactment..and while walking down the lane,indifferent towards aftermath ,she found him, looking at her from his innocent ,lost eyes .
he was a kid left alone in the streets due to ongoing battle.
she didnt noe why or how she thought of this,but in her heart he was the ray of hope.
she took him in her arms and hugged him hard.stared into his watery eyes and decided to make him her world,her family and not due to egotistic reason.
silence is all they spoke while she left untraced ,waiting to be healed.
attachment is healing.

hush hush

what is lazinesss?
laziness is to not do something tat you are supposed to do ...till the water reaches your nose..and starts to run over..and then you wake up and realise tat time has passed by and you are soo bloody late!
from the past 1 week all i am doing is telling myself i wish..i wish..i did nothing to take advantage of the swine flu vacation...absolutely nothing..besides sleeping,drinking ,movies and games! damn..
i am finnaly happy that i started with my auto-cad class..something tat i was hoping to start learning in the vacations...but all i did then was get drunk and roam with frnds! ..time really is money!

A passing thought

if all u want to do is write...write...about what you did ..like a daily basis diary o sumthin..to achieve satisfaction..then to an extent i strongly feel that all you need to do is find a friend..or find a different way to please yourself..

why to write what you did? why?

The greatest belief

it is like searching from somewhere..something that you feel you need it.
it is the need for the moment .
something like a book that you wanted to find out where it is kept in a messy cupboard..or like an old pair of tshirt you suddenly felt the urge to wear..
and you start searching for it.
i think 24-7 ..and i would really need another garima to note down what i thought..because i cant sit and recall...
its like running water..but when i sit and stare ..i can recall bits of it...bits of what i WANT..
is it possible that you just cannot find what you want?...what if you 'knew' that the book is in the shelf and you are digging the shelf soo badly to get IT..and you are just not able to find it still..
no right? if it is present there..all you have to do is search for it.
something similar happens to my belief system.i believe....belief is the most effortless thing.. it is there..always and it keeps us going ..as if we are born to find that..(the book? the tshirt?)
belief is having confidence in TRUTH...how truthful are we to ourselfs? our wants and our needs?
it has got nothing to do with the mask that we wear on your faces and step out into the world..an understood way of living life ..we have become complex...very complex to mix our inner and outer world..its impossible..and let us even not dare to do it ...for you will find people waiting to rape it.
the devils..
belief belongs to our innerspace..our innerworld..
you feel like you are running in this dark..really dark tunnel with a strange belif that there is light in the end of the tunnel. you dont noe who told you and how did it enter in your system but you just believed in it and without any questions or challeges and even plotting options for yourself you just start running towards it..
it is called destiny.
yes i believe in destiny..the course of my journey to get to that light is a part of something called as life..
and i effortlessly accept that it will come to me on its own...because it just...will...
i may not have the best brain ..the biggest dream..the greatest belief..but it doesnt really matter in the end..because i get what i NEED,and anyways..it isnt really the end.
music-porcelain-moby

picture

an abstract pic of oasis in space
deep and confusing...will save it to understand it sometime later